Realised.

This year I will move to China, for a second time.

As a part of my degree I will spend a year in China in order to improve my Chinese and learn from another culture. As I have already done this once I may not be as excited as I should be. Nevertheless, done it once means I can skip all the bad stuff and wont feel as clueless this time.

When I was in China i had a blog, a private one and during my darkest and most depressed moments when I only wanted to go back to Sweden, I wrote this,

(Unfortunately it's in Swedish but if you're interested in a translation there is always the wonder of google translate.)

"Jag vet inte hur många gånger jag har känt för att skrika för full hals till människorna här som inte står i kö. Eller när de glor som aldrig förr och man har lust att göra en ful min bara för att få de att förstå. Sluta glo, sluta spotta, sluta tränga er, sluta använd 5 påsar för tre produkter, sluta med den eviga byråkratin på officiella kontor, sluta anställ 30 pers för en affär lika stor som en två. Sluta vara otrevliga mot Jeanette, sluta äta med öppen mun, sluta rapa, sluta skrika över våra huvuden, sluta se djur som känslolösa saker och sluta ha så jäkla mycket olja i maten!"

Reading it now, I find it quite funny. These things did get to me though and sometimes it was so hard, so hard, so hard, to go on about your day when there was always something or someone that would define you as different. 

I look forward to go back to China and I know this time will be different and maybe even better. I hope to meet people and make friends, I hope to learn what I lost and give something back in return. It's going to be tough and I'm sure that I will curse about it but if I have done it once, I can do it again. Whoa!